So, 2015. We vacationed in Tahoe and San Luis Obispo, Jeff’s enlistment in the Army ended (hallelujah!), I was in my first bridal show, I shot some of my all-time favorite weddings, we bought a house (Yes! House! #wallycottage we have a loan to own you in 30 years!) and we saw much personal growth in our lives. A lot of incredible things happened last year but I am extremely ready for a New Year. The fresh start and clean slate feel like they’re being served to me on a silver platter sprinkled in fairy dust!
I have goals for 2016, sure. I’ll raise my hand with the masses and say I’d like to lose more weight, be more present and read more books..normal goals-y type things. But I’m almost positive those have been my yearly resolutions since 2013. So I had been tossing around different resolutions or goals…what have you…for 2016 to mix things up and it wasn’t until I read the following Jesus Calling entry yesterday that something stood out.
“You can achieve the victorious life through living in deep dependence on Me. People usually associate victory with success: not falling or stumbling, not making mistakes. But those who are successful in their own strength tend to go their own way, forgetting about Me. It is through problems and failure, weakness and neediness that you learn to rely on Me.
True dependence is not simply asking Me to bless what you have decided to do. It is coming to Me with an open mind and heart, inviting Me to plant My desires within you. I may infuse within you a dream that seems far beyond your reach. You know that in yourself you cannot achieve such a goal. Thus begins your journey of profound reliance on Me. It is a faith-walk, taken one step at a time, leaning on Me as much as you need. This is not a path of continual success but of multiple failures. However, each failure is followed by a growth spurt, nourished by increased reliance on Me. Enjoy the blessedness of a victorious life, through deepening your dependence on Me.”
(Psalm 34:17-18; 2 Corinthians 5:7)
“This is not a path of continual success but of multiple failures.” That’s the line. That’s the line that shifted my paradigm for 2016. We aren’t meant to get it right every single time. In fact, our mere “messing it up,” is in direct correlation to the way we were created! By default, we rely on ourselves..we think we’re awesome..we go after our own desires..and perhaps unintentionally, we push God out of the picture.
I’m SO GLAD I’m not meant to have it all figured out and to be a perfect person. I have been taught this since I was a young girl but sometimes a fresh reminder of that brings an overwhelming amount of peace into my heart.
So this year in addition to the losing weight, the reading more and the being present stuff I’d like to add; daily reliance on God. My walk with God has been more of a fast-paced relay race where sometimes I miss the baton when it’s my turn to run. I leave God in the dust when things go well, trip on my untied shoes, He runs to my rescue, wipes off my scraped knee, gives me another chance at the baton but I keep running. I think that’s lame and I want to do better.
I’m thrilled to start 2016 employed under God instead of Nicole. It feels right and it feels exciting. I think this year will be big!